I heard that if you sing “THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO…” to the bus driver he has to pull over, smile and sing back “ROUND AND ROUND” or else he gets fired.
I was on the bus heading home the other day and the guy sitting one row behind me says “Man, it’s just a fact that people are jealous of me, just because I can dance. They don’t get that I learnt to dance just by watching videos on Youtube.”
I switched seats.
There’s etiquette to riding the bus. If there’s an empty seat, you sit in that, not next to someone else. If someone is asleep, you punch them on the arm as you walk past so they scream thinking aliens have finally come to abduct them. Pretty straightforward.
But there are people who ignore the rules. There are the people who think that their mobile phone is actually a mobile DJ sound booth and we want to listen to them sing off-key to whatever dance track is popular in the nightclubs of Turkey.
FYI, we don’t.
Sometimes on the bus you start wondering if everyone is psychic except for you. So you start thinking really loud thoughts like “I KNOW YOU’RE ALL PSYCHIC. YES, YOU. OLD MAN. READING THE NEWSPAPER. YOU. I KNOW YOU’RE PSYCHIC.”
And then they look at you and you look away and start thinking very quiet thoughts.
Can you learn how to be psychic for Youtube? I’m going to Google it when I get home. If Darth Paul can move things with his mind then I can surely learn to read people’s minds!
Top Tip: When looking for a seat on the bus, always look for the person who is talking in their sleep. You can pretend to join and everyone will think the two of you are friends.
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