I heard that if you’re at a friend’s house its okay to drink milk straight from the carton, it’s only wrong if it’s your house.
Whenever you go visit your friends there will inevitably come a time when they have to go do something and it’s just you…and their parents. Now, nothing wrong with previous generations, they did fight in wars and invent Wi-Fi, but we just have nothing in common with them.
The last time I had to talk to a friend’s parent we ended up in an hour long discussion on the best place to go for a mountain walk this time of year. “Mountains” was the best answer I could give. Eventually there were maps out, compasses, comparisons on sea-levels between the north and south hemispheres.
I only called over to watch X-Factor because my brother broke our TV kicking a ball inside the house. If I wanted to join the scouts I….well, I never joined the scouts for a reason.
So, in preparation for the next time I’m stuck talking to the grey-haired and confused, I’ve made this list of sure-fire conversation starters.
“Who do the government think they are with their taxes? Like we don’t have enough taxes on our wages and, uh, direct debits.”
“Did you see that thing that happened in that newspaper they sell in the shop? Awful/Fantastic wasn’t it?” (delete as appropriate)
“That rap music is very loud isn’t it? Why do they always have their shirts off? They’ll catch a cold going around like that.”
And in a worst case scenario:
“So…know any mountains nearby that are good for a walk?”
Top Tip: Every family has a secret. You can find out your friend’s family one by going up to their parents, staring them in the eye and saying “Look, I know your secret, if you repeat it out loud to me now I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
What was your favourite song on XFactor?
I know it was last year, but this is epic:
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