Rumour: I heard a rumour if you have a dream within a dream, you have to shout “Double Wake up!” when you open your eyes or you’ll be asleep forever.
I find it really hard to wake up in the morning, maybe it’s because every night I dream I’m running away from a serial killer who has kittens instead of fingers.
The problem with the dream is that in horror films when you hear a cat, you’re supposed to be relieved. However with this guy when you hear meowing it means terror is just at the end of his fingertips. “scratch, scratch, meooooOWWW!”
The other week I kept my window open and left a trail of sweets and bread up to my bed, in the hopes that a lovely raccoon would follow it and wake me up with his cuddly widdol face.
Well, it worked. (Or was I in a dream within a dream? I can never tell.)
Do you know raccoons can get rabies? When you see a frothing raccoon face at 9 in the morning and you’re already late for school, you know what fear is. Combine that with the man who has kittens for fingers. It’s been an intense week.
The only way I’ve found to really wake up is to roll out of bed. It’s usually when, thanks to gravity, my body hits the hard wood floor that I really wake up. Sure, I’m waking up quicker now, but the bruises that cover my arms and legs make me look like a walking piece of old fruit.
If anyone knows a better way, let me know!
Top Tip: When people say “pinch me, I’m dreaming”, they only mean for you to do it once, not for the rest of the day.
Ps. They should teach kitty-language at school instead of Irish.
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