Politically Unmotivated

I heard that the only people who get into politics are criminals who are tired of robbing houses and now want to rob countries.

Politicians lie. Everyone knows it. If someone disagrees with the statement, they are either a politician or someone who been paid to disagree with you. Paid by politicians.

Politics started in Ancient Greece when people would gather around and vote for who the best singer was. After winning the competition and beating a dragon to death with their hands, they would become King of Greece and gain complete control of all the creatures that lived in the ocean.

…Alright, I’m not sure how politics got started, Wikipedia is blocked on this library’s computer and they set fire to all of their encyclopaedias last year after misinterpreting the phrase “knowledge is power”.

Now the only things available in the library are two Take That albums and half a signed poster of David Hasselhoff.

But politics is everywhere and it’s good to take notice now and then. Are you aware of who is in charge of your country? Yes? That’s a good start. When you don’t, it probably means there’s about to be a revolution, start buying as many tinned foods as you can and call everyone you know “comrade”.

Eventually you’ll have to vote, which mean picking a political party. Basically as far as I can tell there are three types. There’s the ones who like to shout, the ones who disagree with these guys and then there’s the hippies.

Top Tip: Sometimes people talk about throwing things at politicians. Do not bother. They stopped feeling anything a long time ago.